


Hi, My Name Is...

by Strangertd



Category: Glee
Genre: Crack, lots of crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-09-01 11:12:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16764007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strangertd/pseuds/Strangertd
Summary: A really short crackfic that stems from a conversation between my friends and I.What if Kurt's name wasn't actually Kurt?(This is so dumb)





	Hi, My Name Is...

Kurt, Blaine, Finn, Rachel, Puck, and Mercedes are all crammed in the living room watching a movie together. Kurt and the girls insisted on something more sweet and romantic, while Finn and Puck wanted some action. Blaine split the group and picked out  _ the Princess Bride _ .

Halfway through, a loud ‘Ha!’ comes from the attic that hangs over the stairwell. Burt had been up there, digging out the christmas decorations, but he had a tendency to get a bit distracted. A few moments later, he comes bounding down the stairs, his arms held behind his back.

“Kurt. You’ll never believe what I found.” He grins, and tosses the yellow fabric to him. “Your baby blanket. The first one that your grandma made you before she made the blue one.” Burt beams, and Kurt grins opening it up.

“Oh my God. I thought for sure mom had gotten rid of this.” Kurt chuckles, and Burt nods.

“I know! She said she was going to but, I guess she never did. It’s kinda hilarious.” Burt laughs, and Kurt nods, turning the blanket over to examine it and its pristine- if a little dusty- condition.

“Wait…” Mercedes pipes in from the recliner. “Why the hell does the blanket say Kurtis?” Kurt shakes his head and Burt starts laughing again.

“Because that’s technically my name.” Kurt says, and all heads snap toward him.

“Well, shoulda been.” Burt comments, and Kurt nods his agreement.

“Okay, I need a story for this one.” Finn says from the loveseat. “Is your name Kurt or Kurtis? Like… Legally.” Kurt just turns to his father.

“Dad?” Burt leans on the armrest of the couch and smiles.

“Well, when Liz and I found out we were havin’ a boy, I knew I always wanted a son named Kurtis. It was my dad’s name, and he passed a year before Kurt was born, so I was set on it. Liz chose the middle name, she always said she wanted her kid to have her name.

So, we got lots of things in preparation for Kurt’s birth, including a monogrammed blanket that my mom made for him with his name on it. He also had a little onesie with the name Kurtis on it. Hell, even Liz painted the name on a sign to hang on the wall above where his crib was.

The day he was born was insane. He was a good 3 weeks early, so when Liz went into labor it was all a bit frantic. I know I was panicked. Things went fine though, until the nurse came in to fill out the birth certificate. She asked what the first name was, and I said ‘Kurtis’, then when she asked for the middle name, Liz said ‘It’s Elizabeth’. 

We signed and got it all squared away, but didn't get a good look at it, ya know? Too focused on the baby that was just born and all. It wasn’t until we got home and went to file the information away when I heard Liz laughin’. She handed me the certificate and I guess that when I told the nurse the name, she must’ve thought I said ‘Kurt is’ as in ‘Kurt is the name’ rather than Kurtis.

I guess it was my mistake and all, but it felt right. I wasn’t upset about it, and I’m kinda glad it is Kurt, rather than Kurtis. Either way, his grandma and mom both remade their sign and blanket for him.”

Everyone chuckles, and Kurt just shakes his head, smiling. Blaine leans his head on Kurt’s shoulder and rubs his thigh, giggling.

“Hmm Kurtis and Blaine. Doesn’t quite have the same ring to it, don’t you think, Kurtis?” Blaine asks, and Kurt flicks his ear. 

“You start calling me Kurtis and I will start calling you squirt.” Blaine gasps in mock horror.

“You wouldn’t dare! That’s Cooper’s nickname and you know I hate it!”

“Exactly.” Kurt grins and presses a kiss to Blaine’s forehead. 

In the end, it takes a good 2 weeks to get his friends to stop calling him Kurtis.


End file.
